Birth Order
In Family of Origin theory, the birth order position of both children and adults plays a significant role in the development of the child and how that child as an adult relates to others. Studied extensively by family therapists and psychologists such as Dr’s. Murray Bowen and Walter Toman, birth order characteristics often reveal patterns and influences from early family life to late adulthood. the study of birth order is very elaborate; the purpose of this post is to look at some of the commonalities in the concept. It was, in fact, Sigmund Freud who stated that a “child’s position in the sequence of brothers and sisters is of very great significance for the course of his/her later life.”
A common example that illustrates this is the persuasive manner by which individuals behave like their parent or parents (while frequently swearing that would never be “like them”!). Though there can be a seemingly infinite number of variations of birth order position, all sibling positions have a combination of characteristics – let’s take a look at the first born, or Eldest, who:
* is the “only child”, at least at first. They have a great deal of attention and tend to expect it throughout their lives.
* has a position of privilege and status
* experiences a new sibling (within 5 years) as a great displacement and even shock as they lose the status of greatest importance. After 5 years, a new sibling doesn’t affect the eldest as their identity is more established
* is or tends to be very responsible – can be a life-long theme
* does well academically or in most attempts at challenges
* has high expectations; therefore tend to have nurturing parental qualities
* can be perfectionists and worries who are dare not disappoint others
* tends to be more serious or reserved
* less playful
* tends to identify with the parents and thus ends up as guardians of the status quo – preserving family traditions and morality
* can be rigid and unwillnig to accept compromise easily
* the sex and number of younger siblings plays an important role in the personality development of the oldest.
Next time, we’ll look at some of the characteristics of the middle, youngest and only child in relation to personality development.
Alan Stamp
MSc, PCFTTA
Registered Professional Counsellor
In Family of Origin theory, the birth order position of both children and adults plays a significant role in the development of the child and how that child as an adult relates to others. Studied extensively by family therapists and psychologists such as Dr’s. Murray Bowen and Walter Toman, birth order characteristics often reveal patterns and influences from early family life to late adulthood. the study of birth order is very elaborate; the purpose of this post is to look at some of the commonalities in the concept. It was, in fact, Sigmund Freud who stated that a “child’s position in the sequence of brothers and sisters is of very great significance for the course of his/her later life.”
A common example that illustrates this is the persuasive manner by which individuals behave like their parent or parents (while frequently swearing that would never be “like them”!). Though there can be a seemingly infinite number of variations of birth order position, all sibling positions have a combination of characteristics – let’s take a look at the first born, or Eldest, who:
* is the “only child”, at least at first. They have a great deal of attention and tend to expect it throughout their lives.
* has a position of privilege and status
* experiences a new sibling (within 5 years) as a great displacement and even shock as they lose the status of greatest importance. After 5 years, a new sibling doesn’t affect the eldest as their identity is more established
* is or tends to be very responsible – can be a life-long theme
* does well academically or in most attempts at challenges
* has high expectations; therefore tend to have nurturing parental qualities
* can be perfectionists and worries who are dare not disappoint others
* tends to be more serious or reserved
* less playful
* tends to identify with the parents and thus ends up as guardians of the status quo – preserving family traditions and morality
* can be rigid and unwillnig to accept compromise easily
* the sex and number of younger siblings plays an important role in the personality development of the oldest.
Next time, we’ll look at some of the characteristics of the middle, youngest and only child in relation to personality development.
Alan Stamp
MSc, PCFTTA
Registered Professional Counsellor